S.N.V. Inc. would love to here from you, please send us an email to snvinc@aol.com with your testimonial, story or comments. Thank you.
 
"One day my god-mother came home from a Community Builders Network meeting talking about a lady who was interested in starting a support group for sexually abused people. I immediately lit up with excitement because this was something I longed for. My god-mother gave me her name; Veronica Thomas and a number to reach her. I contacted Veronica and we met at a local Starbucks.

It was not long before I began to pour out my heart. I felt comfortable to share my story because she opened up to tell hers first. I was 5 years old when my stepfather told me to pull my pants down, then my panties. I asked him why was he asking me to do this and he said to just do it. So I followed instruction. After I pulled my pants and panties down, he then instructed me to sit down with my legs opened in v-formation. Next, he got up to take his pants and underwear down and he sat down in order to slide his penis up and down my vagina. Afterwards, he wanted me to kiss him in his mouth and hand him his towel when he got into the bathtub. I remember jumping on the bed to wake my mother up to tell her what happened. The second time I was raped by my uncle, who was married into the family. I was 11 years old and it lasted until I was 13. He introduced me to pornography so that I could learn what to do. I am a survivor of sexual abuse not a victim. There was a burning determination to overcome these traumatic experiences. They took my childhood and innocence but I refused to forfeit my voice and soul. I thank God that Veronica sacrificed herself to put this organization in motion. There are too many people like me who still need a support family. I wish there was something like this when I was 5 years old. But now that 5 year old girl (& unfortunately so many others) can surface and get the attention and affection she yearned for, for many years."
   
- Elektra
ON WINGS WE HAVE FLOWN (THE WINGS OF SNV)
SNV...(S)Survivors (N)Not (V)Victims...or 2 us, SNV: (S)Saved (us) (N)Nurturing (our healing now) (V)Victorious (we will be over our abuse)

SNV has become our everything & its founder/President Veronica Thomas, who feels the pain of every story as her own, is everything to us. With the patience of a saint & the caring of a million good samaritans, "Ms." Veronica constantly deals with our infinite, never ending insecurities while helping us heal our fragile heart, rebuild our broken spirit, regain our lost trust, & restore our tortured soul. We are also learning self confidence, self love, & self respect thru the nurturing of SNV; & Ms. Veronica is also slowly gently working with us showing that touch doesn’t have to mean pain.

You may have realized by now we refer to ourselves as "us” & "we". That’s because we have "DID" (Dissociative Identity Disorder) or the term we think is more accurate "MPD" (Multiple Personality Disorder) because we are individual people, & wish that people could "really" see "us" the way people can watching the movie "Sybil". We have 18 inside, give or take, that we know of/people have met/told us about, splintered into so many to be able to handle deep physical & emotional abuse that we endured & remember, but more so, probable sexual abuse that we have such severe numerous symptoms & abreactions for, that it had to have happened, but been so horrific we have absolute zero memory of to this day, but that people feel is scarily close to the surface of the mind. It's believed it started around age one when our Mommy died, the same age as our youngest inside, along with many other babies & small children, a two teens, a 22 year old, one "worker", one "parent", & one general adult who represents in public & takes care of things such as bills etc. Additionally, more descriptive terms people who know us can tell us apart by since we don’t have names are two cutters, two mutes, a stutterer, & a little boy who keeps his fists balled in protection who was just recently the first one to be suddenly have a name - "Mike", as well as that we "act", "speak", & "write" differently too. Ms. Veronica has met & interacts with the flow of them/us on a regular daily basis, laughingly sometimes saying she struggles to keep up with whoever pops out, but she's become awesome at it.

We first learned of SNV thru two friends we attended a different group with who now attended "SNV'S Sexual abuse support group as well, but didn’t think we were ready. One night one of us BOLD ones came "out" & decided "we're going to try it" & we did, & couldn’t handle it...& felt like a failure as we left quietly, upset, planning on never coming back! We did end up coming back – that night, & many more, but still running away, even starting to stay by the door changing our mind as soon as we got there, ready to leave/run away before group even started. But the ever observant & caring Ms. Veronica noticed & quietly would slide next to us nearer the door smiling with jokes to distract us from what she was doing, letting us have room to mentally "think" we could run, but not intending to "let" us run...at least not too far that she couldn’t reel us back in...& when we would get scared as more group people arrived, & it was time to start, we would try to run, & Ms Veronica would have her assistant take over the group, & stay with us calming our fears & as she'd walk us into the room. She still stays by our side thru painful &/or scary times, because she & SNV have taken us under their healing wing, but we've also grown & become so much stronger thru their nurturing. We still run sometimes, & Ms. "V" reels us back in when we go too far or away too long, but we come back on our own now too, because SNV's become our "home"...where you walk thru the door & feel love, healing, & understanding, because SNV isn’t just an organization, it’s a family, the way a family SHOULD be, & it feels good.

We’ve suffered daily internally for the 50 years of the body’s life, hating “us”, & “the way we are”. The more dominate one’s constantly fight back & forth between wanting to “do away with us”/"take us out", or “give healing a chance just in case it works this time” with “these” people who come to SNV from their own abuse, drawn together in healing because of the nurturing of SNV thru the compassion of it's founder, Veronica Thomas, who wanted to to help others thru her own pain, & one day had a vision on how to reach out & touch people by starting the SNV organization/family. She lit a single candle that day, that has lit many more candles along the way, including all my own, lighting up her office where we’ve grown from running away from the sexual abuse support groups to volunteering there in some way almost every day & even venturing “out” in baby steps being part of SNV events sharing our candles to others to bring awareness in the community to "No Longer Hide Behind The Face of Shame, because Silence & Sexual Abuse Are Not The Answer!". One day there'll be so many candles held up in togetherness lighting the sky there'll be no more darkness or abuse, so there'lll be no more people broken, or splintered like us to be able to handle what happened, suffering from the deep scars abuse leaves until they finally find real believing hope like we have in the true caring/committed healing powers of SNV & Veronica Thomas.

What a difference real caring, dedication, commitment, & belief make. That’s what we’ve gotten from Ms Veronica & SNV. We still have many bad days, but because of our SNV family, we're not alone during those anymore, because this family of support has no off switch or down time. Life is 24/7 & so is this organization, helping us feel safe, even at 3AM through another sleepless night or horrific nightmare, giving us courage & strength to hold on till the daylight comes & allowing us to have many good days too now. We thought nobody understood, but at SNV, they do, & what they don’t understand, they care enough to listen, learn, support, & try to help. We pray every morning & every night thanking God for finding SNV & Ms. Veronica crossing our path, not letting us run, & forever changing our world. We will never be the same. Thank you Ms Veronica for your personal courage in starting, & your sacrifice in continuing The Vision of SNV; it saved us. We’ve even grown so much that though most all of us are quiet & reserved, on occasion we find strength to “step out” doing things unexpectedly like one night when told Ms. Veronica we wanted to co-run the Sexual abuse support group with her, & did with her faith & belief in us, & joke that one day we’re going to take over for her, not only the group, but the whole organization! Where we were, Where We are, Where We’re going! WOW! Watch out world, who knows where we, Ms Veronica, & our SNV family are headed. THIS IS STILL ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!...
 
- JUST US
"August 3, 2008 was a day like no other. I made plans to make that day my last day. 30 Oxycodone sat on the shelf of the medicine cabinet. They were my ticket out. Like Charlie and The Chocolate Factory they were my golden ticket. All that was on my mind was what I needed to take to mix it. I’m sitting on the computer writing my suicide note.

It said: Dear Family, I can't take it anymore. Your brother is destroying my life. I miss my cousin Star too much so now I am going to be with her. I tried to speak but when I did I was hushed by you. Do me a favor don’t cry for me because now I’m free no longer am I morning. I don't want those phony tears cause you could have done more protecting. You protected him from not having numbers across his chest. The decision I’ve made now is for the best. Signed, Mandy.


August 3, 2008. That was my day to be free. I went on Facebook to post 1 last picture of me. Also, to tell them I’m sorry. I’m sitting there crying cause I was scared to leave, I went on YouTube to try and give my mind some relief. I saw this video on the side of the screen. The title of the video was China Doll it was like the Video said, please play me. The words talked about child sexual abuse. I thought, damn somebody finally knew what I was going through. Harrisamanda14 was my log in name. I am typing to SNV, Inc. to the lady in the video named Veronica Thomas; tell her that I was abused. She wrote me back and said I know just what you’re going through. See she doesn’t know but she saved my life that day, August 3 2008. Let me explain see I’m nosey so if I killed myself I couldn’t get the email back. What was keeping me alive was that I knew her encouraging words. They say that you can’t see your guardian angel but I’ve seen mine. Having her in my life made me eventually realize I’m fine.

August 3, 2008 God sent me a black angel. She went from being Ms. Veronica to Auntie Veronica because her kindness showed that someone cares and cared about me. I can’t say thank you enough. August 3, 2008 is a day I will always remember before I surrendered to the pain I met someone who with her my life changed. You guided me and there was not that much rain anymore. To someone who is beautiful, loving, caring, and compassionate. Thank you for August 3 2008."
 
- Mandy
“I am a survivor of sexual abuse. It took a long time for me to find myself until I heard about Ms Thomas and read her book “Visions From The Past” (A True Story). But even then it was difficult for me to come out and speak of my abuse and share something so private. I always knew that it was difficult for a woman but for a man I believe it’s even more difficult. I don’t know if that’s the right belief to have but being a man means certain things. Standing proud, Responsibilities, you’re not supposed to cry but I found myself not living up to fit that particular idea of a man. When I started attending the SNV Support Group they taught me to open up and speak about what happened to me. They gave me the strength to confront all the demons that still plagued me and made me realize that what I had gone through as a child had not been my fault.

S.N.V. helped me to open my eyes and realize that I can still be the man I want to be. The group inspired me to cope with what happened and learn to stop being a victim. They taught me to speak out which is something I had never done before. But I realized that as I learned and began to speak out, not hiding anymore behind the face of my shame, the better I felt. Especially being surrounded by other men that had also experienced what I had experienced as well. I feel that I owe it all to God, and Ms Thomas for giving her the strength to start this organization because if it wasn’t for her and her book, I would probably still be in hiding and still a victim of this abuse. But because of her, I know now that I am on the road of becoming a Survivor of sexual abuse.”
 
- Melvin G.
“The Survivors Not Victims of sexual abuse group have helped me in many ways. Before the program I had low self esteem and I felt like I was worthless an ugly because of all the things that my uncle had done to me. I used to cut myself a lot because I felt like what was the point when I was going to be hurt anyway. I was only 8 years old when I started getting abused. And for a long time I thought that it would last forever that I would never get out of this situation.

Talking to Ms. Thomas and the staff I learned that through it all I am somebody. I am stronger because I made it and that everything that happened to me is not my FAULT!!! That in the end I did what I had to do to survive. She was very real with me letting me know that the flashbacks and the fears wouldn’t go away overnight that it would take a lot of time. I Learned that being strong is not hiding the Pain, Being strong is having strength enough to speak out about the situations that come around. I learned that dealing with the pain is hard but hiding it is even harder. Most of all I learned that I Am a SURVIVOR AND NO LONGER A VICTIM!!!!!!

 
- Mandy, Ohio
 
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